Psych (2006–2014)
Timothy Omundson: Carlton Lassiter, Archie Baxter, Self
Photos
Quotes
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Shawn Spencer : Good morning, detectives! Collecting donations for the Policeman's Ball?
Carlton Lassiter : We don't have balls.
Shawn Spencer : I honestly have no response for that.
Carlton Lassiter : Need I remind you, Mr. Spencer, what happens when you interfere with a police investigation?
Shawn Spencer : Uhhh... The case gets solved?
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Carlton Lassiter : So you think someone planted it in his locker?
Shawn Spencer : No, I think someone put it there on purpose.
Carlton Lassiter : That's what I just said.
Shawn Spencer : But mine wasn't in the form of a question, so it came from a place of power.
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Carlton Lassiter : I need to get something off my chest.
Shawn Spencer : Is it your shirt? Please say no.
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Shawn Spencer : Good morning detectives, collecting money for the Policeman's ball?
Carlton Lassiter : We don't have balls.
Shawn Spencer : I honestly have no response to that.
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Carlton Lassiter : You wanted to see me, Chief?
Karen Vick : Yes. It has come to my attention, Detective, that you've discharged your weapons in the last four cases you've worked.
Carlton Lassiter : Thank you.
Karen Vick : That wasn't a compliment.
Carlton Lassiter : I'm just trying to keep the streets safe.
Karen Vick : The last incident was at a cat show.
Carlton Lassiter : Well, let me just go on record as saying that I would never shoot a cat.
Karen Vick : I guess I can find some solace in that.
Carlton Lassiter : Unless it was approaching in a threatening manner, or refused to stop upon my command. I would probably just fire a warning shot to make my point, but it's actually a field decision I can't commit to at this juncture.
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Carlton Lassiter : Hey, we found prints.
Shawn Spencer : Was he in a little red corvette?
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Under the cherry moon?
Carlton Lassiter : FINGER prints!
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Carlton Lassiter : Now I need to know your process.
Shawn Spencer : Do you really want to know my process?
Carlton Lassiter : Absolutely.
Shawn Spencer : Well, it starts with a holla! and ends with a Creamsicle.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : And if there's time in between? ThunderCats. Ho-oh!
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Carlton Lassiter : I thought I told you no.
Shawn Spencer : But your eyes said yes.
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Carlton Lassiter : Questions?
Juliet O'Hara : Is this your only lead?
Carlton Lassiter : His responses to my interrogation were hostile at best.
Juliet O'Hara : Clarify "hostile."
Carlton Lassiter : [through his teeth] Use my tone now as a guide.