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Reviews
Circumstance (2011)
Don't Bother
Don't get me wrong, some of my favourite films are foreign language films: I love Amour, City of God, Sophie Scholl: The Final Days, and Letters From Iwo Jima. But the delivery of this film, even down to how the actors are speaking their lines is just dire.
I would honestly prefer to watch an out-and-out gaudy, trashy lesbian film such as "And then Came Lola" or "It's in The Water" that at least is aware of how terrible it is than sit through another 100 minutes of this pretentious, inaccurate rubbish.
I laud the intention, don't get me wrong. It's not every day you get a film based on the relationship between two Iranian lesbians. This film could have been amazing if it had just stuck to that point and developed their relationship as the primary focus of the film.
But the film is drawn in so many directions, many of which are left incomplete. A group of friend talk about dubbing the film "Milk", later one of them is arrested as a spy (but we never find out the conclusion of either of these). The main male character Mehran starts the film smoking hard drugs, yet his father does a urine test on him that proves nothing?! One of the girls has no money for school at the start of the film, and this is never addressed again. These are just some of the examples...
And to top it off, a large proportion of the acting is half-hearted and (from what I can see from Persian speakers reviewing the film) done by people who are not even fluent in the language. I didn't believe in the romance as there was no romance in how it was spoken, and the scenes were left underdeveloped.
Also why are they preoccupied with going to Dubai?! I know it is probably less oppressive than Iran, but it isn't exactly a gay haven either!
Go and watch a feel good, throw away, unapologetic gay film rather than wade through this. Trust me, I wish I had!
Tipping the Velvet (2002)
Overrated
At the time of its release, Tipping th Velvet got a lot of hype for being perhaps the most "raunchy" lesbian thing that had managed to get onto the BBC. Ho hum.
I can see why people give it such rave reviews (well, sort of). With lesbian movies/TV shows/characters you can be hard-pressed to find a decent, fleshed-out representation without falling into ghastly clichés. So when this came out (no pun intended) I can 100% see why people went nuts over it.
But we are a lot of representation later now... and as a fan of the book, I have to disagree with all the rave reviews on here. Tipping the Velvet doesn't stand the test of time.
Firstly, I do not deny that the production value for TTV is brilliant. The stage shows are wonderfully directed, the scenes and costumes do not pose a problem for me. The acting is no great problem either.
It's the story and the mashing up of the original book into some cheap, clichéd ending that bothers me the most. That and the weird and obtrusive editing and background music.
The character of Nan, the main protagonist and heroine, is a far cry from her representation of the book. Racheal Stirling is not a bad actor, but she is too feminine for the role...and the voice? ...Hmm. The Nan of the original story could pass for a man. This nan walks around with slightly shorter hair slathered in make-up with a petite little body and we are supposed to believe she passes off as a man? Hmm indeed.
The biggest let-down of the entire film however was the relationship between Flo and Nan. What happened? They literally gave the characters each other's lines and swapped their personalities around. It skewed the point of Nan's story. Flo is supposed to humble Nan by showing her how little she really knows...not by batting her eyelids.
Lastly...aside from a cursory chase from a couple of cliché cockney thugs there is almost no mention of homophobia in the entire film. Without it, Kitty's betrayal makes little sense.
A bit like this film. It makes me yell every time I see it.
It's little but gaudy melodrama to me, if you want the best version of this film available on TV consult the French and Saunders parody.
A huge let down. Especially for someone who loves the book.
Head Cheerleader Dead Cheerleader (2000)
Not Worth The Box It's Sold In
OK, I like to watch "So bad that it's actually good" sort of movies (e.g. Raptor), and I suppose this one is kind-of "funny". But it's also so cheap it astounds me.
The poor special effects involve blatantly plastic feet (that bounce off the ground) and hollow boobs that at one point get used in a "touchdown" sequence. Other mentionables are blatantly plastic dead chickens (although I'm glad no real ones were sacrificed for this film).
The plot trundles around as subtle as an elephant. Any attempts at suspense are ruined by strange music, dodgy camera-work or crap scripting. One cheerleader named Molly serves only for 5 minutes and toplessness before she is murdered off-screen, the same can be said for the female coach, but she is murdered on screen. Nearly all of the film is in the lead cheerleader Heather's front room where a strange man "Lizzie" (derived from Lizzie Borden, who was alleged to kill her parents) phones her every five flipping seconds.
There is also blatant advertising - Coke, Nike, Disney and Ben and Jerrys all get a little mention.
The genuinely funny moments are unintentional. One uninspiring moment where someone places a hand on an ankle and the revelation between the two male sport men.
Don't buy it unless you can stand 75mins of tripe for a few stupid moments.